X*3

I am on the Surface.
Water is covering the edge of everything I felt for you..
You are floating
Once more in my head…
How I wish you'd explode, like everything else in me.

It might feel aesthetic to my body - losing you once more.

If you can't hear me now that I am calling you
Listen to my breathing - (it is turning back to normal now).
These thoughts I nourish for you I could have vanished if I wanted.
But the Earth is annoyingly turning in circular movement.

I wish I could believe you.
I wish I had you baby.
I wish I had your soul - not your body –
cause that I have.

Michelle

My body weakens
Every time I recognize fear in your eyes.
You soften my insistence for strength,
And deaden my desire of regrets.
Do not get deceived next time.
Again, I will not cry.
You,
Never talk of the moments I caused you pain,
or the self I forced you to bury.
You cry and weep and whisper me always
That life can and will go back
For us two.
Yes, life will, one day go back, for you and I…
It will go back to the days I hadn't sold my body,
the days you hadn't infected your soul,
the days we were young…
It’s an illusion:
Calling everyone to see that
behind this idyllic facade we both adopted
there is a deep love, as pure as yourself…

From This Day...

From this day […]
I’m going backwards.
Closing my eyes seems as painful as
The limited moments I always have with you.
We are one at last…
Even if we part at night-time.
Both of us know that time can’t heal the pain,
But we still take the risk of waiting.
Who will be the next to come?
You sparkle and smile and create,
Reminding me of how much of this is still there.
I can wait for you.
As long as I know it is life itself I’m waiting for…

/...

[Darling, sweet darling you failed.
Love is a sea of tenderness.]

You were too, very dull to shine.
Stop whispering (silently to yourself)
That you have changed.
I am telling you. Do trust me.
‘You failed’.
Or I’d better re-phrase:
‘I failed you’.
In a loose manner allow me to laugh louder.
I’m weak.

RAF

OK. This one's for you; my better half, the one I always blame for mistakes I make and random negative thoughts I nourish.
Once more, it does not matter whether you will provoke me in developing my self - destructive syndrome (again).
Come with me, to disrupt this world and I will forgive you for not saying goodbye.
You can still keep the moment where I'll lose myself in your eyes and i can still keep hoping that someday I'll stop missing you..

*1

No one fights for us this time..
The curtains of tonight's show are now closed.
The audience has left the room (even if it never appeared in the first place, even if our lives were always taking place outdoors).
We could not be the judge of our own self and our choices were never leading to a way out.

'It's a gift - having the ability to be while not being here...'

They say that time has healing properties and i'm already small enough to doubt it.
What frightens me the most is not the saying, not the acting, not any audience.
I got over that anyway.
And just for the sake of this second, this moment, I have to come back. At least for your sake.
It's that -er that frightens me the most.

Ch. 1

Her name was Sunshine
because she used to shine like that sun you'll only see
on the first shine of the Mediterranean August morning.
She was coming to me, always wearing
that black dress of hers, always caressing
my hair gently...
I can't remember when (exactly when),
I stopped telling her how much I miss her..

Object Of Solitude

Today, a woman on the bus is crying -
weeping silently for no one to notice.
The surrounding faces are colourless.
Hers however, captivates
All colours of the wind and moon..
She is mistaken to feel that
even one, of those many colourless faces
is unable to understand.
'Absence' is what's making her crying.

C_1

Give me your hand and I’ll teach you immortality.
To thank me I don’t need.
To exist is not what I ask for.
Reach the conquered moon
And enter the cycle of night’s emptiness.
You, already […]
Crawl and captivate the essence of human life
You can be, as you already are
A cloud, on my misty sky…

To: Mum

There is always sense in madness.
How the leaves flow, blow and explode,
and how they intertwine with the wind -
if this thing can be called wind.
Everything looks as quiet as death,
and life beneath is breathless,
cause it is at last, always, always
Objectified.
I can see hands having spasms.
Disappointment is the occupant feeling.
He just lost the train to work.

Error [X]

Shut these eyes of desire
And bear with me
This moment of endless delicacy…
Here is what keeps us apart and together.
I am flying, as she would proudly say
‘into the endless rhythm of isolation’;
And I admit that:
‘I’m scared to experience another/the ‘moment to its crisis’’.
After all this, you can see, clearly now,
The inability of hiding.
I and only I allow you to come back (to me).
You can have me entirely to yourself this spare minute.
I surrender into the past.

Mar Adentro

My sweet…
Your rebirth is coming
Within the cracked coloured rocks
To bring back to me
a genuinely, unearthly emotion,
Which is never to be felt again (by the human heart).
Touch can be achieved through
Blank Screens
And empty infinite spaces of the soul.
Cause when there is courage,
There are men for great ideas.
Your depth will never, ever
Reason that the lives you lived,
The lives you died
-so many, myriad times before –
will be coming back to join again;
‘The Sea inside.’